MERRY EVERYTHING AND HAPPY ALWAYS

(TITLE: Quotation from Christmas card from Chris and Amy)

Basking in comfort and joy 

With family and friends.

Good food, comfortable banter,

Relaxation, and easy laughter.

Next several days full of more

Friends and more family times,

Culminating tomorrow in 

Non-remarkable-birthday party.

Rejuvenating days away from work,

With stacked tasks ever looming.

Stay in each moment, lean back

Into hours of puttering and dreaming.

Gently bid adieu to eventful 2013;

Looking forward to starting anew

In 2014's 365 glowing opportunities.

Love and joy and equality and play.

Ann Beth Blake

(c) December 30, 2013

THE MESSIAH

Traditional exquisite concert with friends.

One asked about our favorite passage;

So many, mostly from Isaiah, prophesies.

Good fiends, good cheer, good will.

Blessed season for reflection and joy.

Brief morning snow blankets and quiets.

Classes complete, just grading remains.

Splendid students and colleagues, one and all.

A pleasurable craft to ply in this wondrous life.

Good will to all, and to all a good night on 

This longest Solstice night of year 2013.

Onward to the next steps of the journey.

Ann Beth Blake

(c) December 21, 2014

MINUTES AND MILESTONES

Glaringly aware of time and location.

Left home at 9:22 am, 22 minutes later

Than usual, for weekly commute south 

To private practice in Olympia, WA.

Wisely-distracting tasks delayed journey

And protected from witnessing accident

At milepost 116, 11 miles from destination.

At 10:25 am, emergency vehicles 

From various directions screamed 

Past to assess, assist, and direct.

Traffic abruptly stopped to honor

Fatality 1 mile south, occurring

Just 10 minutes earlier: 10:15 am.

Had iPad, phone, lunch sandwich.

Sister Googled, found information.

Called clients to reschedule, and 

Then called to reschedule again. 

As traffic finally crept forward,

Veil thinned between realities.

Wave upon wave of sadness,

Prompting repetitive prayers.

Chanting CD played on car

Sound system: comfort, sent 

Forward through aching heart.

Detour over overpass, glimpse of

Wreckage beyond recognition.

Tears streaming, offering assurance:

"You are safe. You are sad for family.

Rest easy now. We are here with you."

Arrived in office at 1:15 pm, 

Accompanied by sadness, 

compassion, grief, and 

Gratitude, appropriately 

Permeating regular routines.

Miles of traffic remained jammed entire day,

Drivers silently honoring, cell phones buzzing.

Left office at 8:23 pm, following blue and yellow

(Sweden's colors) Franz truck creeping at speed limit. 

Listened to same comforting, soulful chanting CD.

At first, traffic normal, until flashing lights

Signaled milepost 116. Thankfully, too

Dark to see aftermath. From milepost 

116 to milepost 130, southbound traffic 

Sat stopped on Tarmac in silent cortège;

Trucks and cars, bumper-to-bumper, 

Headlights beaming, rear lights brightly 

Lit by constant breaking; confronting presence 

Of necessity to pause in face of tragedy, 

To investigate facts, to form explanations,

To honor the dead and the injured, 

To reflect upon universal vulnerability 

And ever-present closeness of death.

Teeth clenched, heart pounding, and

Tears dropping as drove northward.

Finally, at milepost143, regained 

Coherence, relaxed jaw, passed 

Guiding blue and yellow truck.

At 10:15 pm, arrived disoriently 

And gratefully home: glaringly aware.

Ann Beth Blake

(c) December 16, 2013

IDEALIZED DADS

Three loving dads with feet of clay,

Sometimes stuck deeply in mud;

Absent in wide variety of hurtful ways.

In their wake, ignored wounds in some, 

And chose badly with one other;

Alone appeared better than conflict.

Sometimes naive hope for perfection,

Seeing falsely-redemptive opposite 

By tending to idolize cultural icons:

JFK, RFK, Mandela, Obama, and 

Martin Luther King, like us all, just 

Humans with both virtues and flaws.

Now better at acknowledging and

Embracing all my own virtues and

Flaws--just another human being,

Like all of us, continuing to honestly

Grapple with awareness of walking

Gently in my own skin on this Earth.

Ann Beth Blake

(c) December 14, 2013

MAYA ANGELOU'S FABULOUS VIDEO POEM IN TRIBUTE TO NELSON MANDELA

http://blog.al.com/wire/2013/12/state_department_releases_maya.html

His Day is Done: A Tribute Poem for Nelson Mandela by Maya Angelou

"Education if the most powerful weapon you can use to change the world." Nelson Mandela

UBUNTU

Ubuntu: South African and Zimbabwe philosophical term for human-ness, human kindness; coined in mid-19th Century; popularized in 1950s by Jordon Kushan Ngubane; essential to the South African liberation movement led by Nelson Mandela and the African National Congress political party; and cited in the Preamble to the Constitution of South Africa (wikipedia.org/wiki/Ubuntu).

Again awake in middle of night,

Puttering a bit, hungry a little.

Turned on TV at exact moment

President Barack Obama strode 

Into Soweto stadium in South Africa 

To offer his poetic, stirring eulogy

During national memorial event

For Nelson Rolihlala Mandela, 

"An icon of flesh and blood,"

The father of the nation, and

Affectionately known as 

Madiba and Tata (father).

Clearly touched, President Obama 

Similarly touched the citizens and 

Dignitaries gathered to celebrate 

Mandela's uncommon yet common

Life of dedication to individual

Rights and to service for the world.

Our President quoted 

Inspiration accessed by

Nelson Mandela during his

Twenty-seven years in prison:

Invictus by William Earnest Henley 

(See full text below):

"It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul."

Thank you, Godspeed, and 

Rest in deserved peace, 

Dear Nelson Mandela.

Ann Beth Blake

(c) December 10, 2013

Invictus by William Earnest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud,

Under the bludgeoning of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

SITTIN' IN COSTCO GAS LINE

Threat of snow brings out Northwest shoppers,

Stocking up on groceries and fuels of all kinds.

Cheaper gas; long lines on cold, clear Sunday morn.

Gas pumps, set aside from hustle and bustle of

Monstrous commercial store, offer haven of solitary

Contemplation and shopping solo from vehicle.

Ann Beth Blake

(c) December 8, 2013

CONTEMPT VS. COMPASSION: PRACTICE 1

Battered Del Sol, reminiscent of my beloved red version, 

But with flat-matte steel-grey paint job like late-1950s 

High school guys' 1949 2-door Ford sedan, and with 

Freight-train-loud muffler; cigarette hanging, of course, 

From driver's lower lip, baseball cap brim facing backward.

Already a test of my commitment to perceive from vantage of 

Compassion, followed by burning butt tossed from window. 

Challenge gladly accepted. Stay amused; remain empathic for

Human being in the scenario; wonder about, rather than making

Critical assumptions: What is context for motivation and intention?

And, universally and ultimately and finally, see myself in his mirror.

Ann Beth Blake

(c) December 9, 2013

PILGRIMAGE YEAR, 2013

Many trails and some trials:

Spiritual, emotional, physical.

Growthful contribution to

Meaning and awareness.

People consistently add

Value and companionship,

Nurture and intervention,

Initiating and receiving.

Continue to devote substantial

Energy to work endeavors,

Contributing both joy and fatigue.

Take time for joy, reflection, discernment.

Already mid-December, the final

Countdown, the 12th of twelve.

Birthday at ultimate end marks

Moments for pause and intention.

This life, my life, now in final 

Third phase. More clearly

Contemplative of focus and

Direction: What do I want?

Continue to seek and learn.

Continue to be open to and receptive of

Contacts, encounters, and opportunities.

Many paths taken, many roads to explore.

 

Ann Beth Blake

(c) December 9, 2013

CATCH AND RELEASE

Decorative and relaxing fish tank in radiation lobby, metaphor for 

Tender catching; then proudly displaying the beauty of treatment and 

Closeness of death; sadness and pride in releasing back into healthy life.

Last appointment with radiation oncology practitioners.

Tapped on wall next to curtained doorway to radiation lobby.

Warmly greeted; all acknowledging gift of final interactions.

Recognize admirable ability to forge close, therapeutic

Relationships; culminating in complete closure; followed by

Team members' once again warmly attaching to next patient.

Although grieving the safety of being enveloped in competent 

Embrace of all members of radiation oncology medical team, 

Also celebrating my release and their ability to lovingly let go.

Ann Beth Blake

(c) December 5, 2013

CONTEMPT AND COMPASSION

Still difficult for me when others behave in ways I dislike.

I (sometimes) still automatically and immediately react

With disgust, distrust, dismay, annoyance, anger, and contempt.

Those reactions clearly form protective attitudes of distancing,

Holier-than-thou, nose in the air--tightly closed by clothespin.

By distancing myself, I deny my own culpability and proximity.

By staying close, by acknowledging my sameness and 

My co-humanity, by consciously reclaiming my projections, 

I access self-compassion as well as compassion for others.

Continue to strive toward integrity and compassion, toward 

Loving interactions, facilitated by setting clear boundaries 

And standards, permeable by compassion and forgiveness.

All of above are simply spokes in wheel of life, pieces of whole pie.

Join human race richly comprised of culpable and lovable beings.

Continually reflect upon the fullness of love and hate, joy and pain.

Ann Beth Blake

(c) December 6, 2013

HAND ON BREAST, NEXT TO HEART

As I sit with my hand warming my left breast,

Spontaneous memory: Grandma's same gesture.

My reason, warming nipple against pain of cold.

Grandma's purpose? Comfort, protection, habit?

Feel humbled by poignant closeness, sad connection.

I am not alone in this process--Grandma led the way.

Wish neither had had this experience, and, if we had to,

Which apparently we did, her company consoles me.

Breast cancer, and other forms, flit though the generations 

of my family; too many children, women, and men afflicted.

Winter Holidays prompt reflection and end-of-year

Pondering, surfacing both memories and intentions.

Goodbye, God Be with Thee, and Fond Farewell to 2013;

Anticipatory hopeful energy for new experiences in 2014.

Connecting cards sent to and fro with love and joy:

Peace on Earth, Goodwill Toward Every Living Being.

Ann Beth Blake

(c) December 7, 2013

HOLIDAY WISHES

                                                  A 

                                                year

                                                  to

                                            remember

                                                 but 

                                            even better.

                                                  In

                                 July, Karin and I began to

                                                walk

                       the El Camino de Santiago pilgrimage

                                                  in

                           Spain, but after 8 days, I returned

                                                  to 

                        Sweden for my own family pilgrimage.

                                                Then

               to Denmark, Wales, and London for more adventures.

                                                   I

        returned home to be treated for 2 small, early breast cancer sites.

                                                   I

    was supported by an exceptional team of family, friends, and medicos.

                                                  The

    Jungian Psychotherapists Association celebrated our 20th Anniversary

                                                  with

    both Ann Belford Ulanov and John Bebee as presenters par excellence.

                                                  And

            throughout the year, almost daily writing of poems and essays

                                                   at

                                abbelcamino.blogspot.com

                                                  So

                                         Happy Holidays,

                                         Happy New Year

                                                 to you

                                             and yours

                                               for now

                                               and for

                                               always.

                                   Love and Joy from Ann.

ADDITIVE HEALING

Shakespeare so eloquently stated,

"To die, to sleep; to sleep: perchance 

to dream; ay, there's the rub." Hamlet.

"the innocent sleep, sleep, that knits 

Up the ravell'd sleave of care." Macbeth.

In orbit, we follow predetermined paths,

Yet, ALSO accompanied by free will,

We forge unique AND repeated patterns.

Said before, AND worth repeating:

Sufficiently facilitated, bodies heal

Themselves, as do all psyches.

Like plants, given sufficient soil,

Water, and light, we grow upward,

Even after various obstructions.

"Sufficiently facilitated:" challenging

AND simultaneously uncomplicated:

Cooperate AND get out of the way.

To stand with, to accompany, to attune:

Useful and fruitful tactics, ALONG WITH

Active engagement with self AND world.

Seemingly contradictive, yet generatively

True AND simultaneously ubiquitous;

Opposites AND essential companions.

Necessary coupling of active AND passive

Modes of healing and rejuvenation, employing

Conscious AND unconscious partners.

As my mind and body recuperate from

Recent essential interventions, along

With current reparative medication,

I take both active AND stand-aside stances:

I cooperate by providing food and exercise

And sleep and productive work endeavors.

Yet the balance, the equilibrium, the alert calm--

All necessary AND yet difficult to maintain and

Sustain--the continuing and constant goal.

Even just now, awake in middle of night,

With words needing to be written down:

Competing yet cooperating needs AND wants:

Create AND regenerate. Facilitate AND relax.

Stand aside AND be alert. Relax AND reset.

Sleep AND dream. Sleep AND repair.

Ann Beth Blake

(c) December 4, 2013

10 LIFE CHANGING TIPS FROM RUMI

1. Challenge Fear

“Run from what’s comfortable. Forget Safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.”

2. Be Bold

“Do not be satisfied with the stories that come before you. Unfold your own myth.”

3. Have Gratitude

“Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.”

4. Take Action

“Why should I stay at the bottom of a well, when a strong rope is in my hand?”

5. Have Faith

“As you start to walk out on the way, the way appears.”

6. Embrace Setbacks

“If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?”

7. Look Inside

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

8. Learn From Suffering

“The wound is the place where Light enters you.”

9. Don’t Be Concerned With What Other Think Of You

“I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.”

10. Do What You Love

“Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love.”

http://sharabehayat.wordpress.com/tag/rumi/

Posted on May 4, 2013

SLEEP POSTURE

Childhood artifact: sleep

On left side, perpendicular 

To mattress and pillows.

Recovery from treatment

Interferes with habitual, 

Comforting sleep position.

Usual tossing and turning,

Now abrupt shift away from

Discomfort to default modes.

Tiredness lulls me to dreamland,

Irrespective of proprioceptive 

Positioning--sleep, glorious sleep.

Ann Beth Blake

(c) December 2, 2013

GIVING THANKS

Foggy morning shifts to sun as

I approach sister's home for 

afternoon turkey 'n fixin's dinner. 

Fog blankets Puget Sound channel

Like rippling snow drifts, reminiscent

Of aunt and uncle's Side Lake cabin.

Friday, snow tires mounted, buy socks;

Yummy organic brunch with Gwen;

Northward bound to Bellingham.

Two restful, fun, productive days 

With Deena and kids and kids.

Cozy, comfortable, connecting.

Sunday, JPA Council in gracious home;

Intense and productive discussions;

Time to curb involvement, step back.

Broader picture gratitude for family and 

Friends; renewed health; soulful career, 

Moving toward shifting down in 3 years.

Four-day weekend, breath of fresh air;

People-filled weekend ending by

Alone time and napping 'til bedtime.

Thanks to everyone; thanks for everything.

Ann Beth Blake

December 2, 2013